Karma: Payback is certain and often unpredictable Karma.

The total effect of a person’s actions and conduct during phases of a person’s existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences…

Karma has no last name, nor needs one. He stands alone. Kinda like Cher; or Santa.

“He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake…”

Have you ever met Earl, as in My Name Is Earl?

We’re not big television watchers, but that was one hysterical sitcom portraying a guy named Earl whose life was full of poor choices and mistakes.

He was an unrepentant ne’er do well who hits a lottery jackpot then has an epiphany and vows to change his ways.

The show is based on my old friend/enemy, Karma.

There is of course good and bad karma, but I’m here to share the relentless side of the bad stuff.

Those of us who were brought up Catholic referred to bad karma as a “punishment by the Lord,” because God, like Santa, was always watching…

“He knows if you’ve been bad or good…”

Karma forgets nothing; EVER. Countless crimes seem to go unavenged for years and years but I am a true believer in The Big K.

There’s never been a single wrongdoing incident in my own life that has snuck by this clever fella. So therefore, when the smackdown a’cometh, I never ask “why me”?

I do not feel sorry for myself, nor do I ponder. One must simply move on, vow to never repeat the mistake, and take your beatin’ like a man, cuz you’ve just been Karmalized.

“Ya better not pout I’m tellin you why…”

The Big K comes in all shapes and sizes, and is utilized by Mother Nature, Father Time and everything in between.

The possibilities are endless when it comes to payback and there are absolutely no boundaries.

Why, I’ve even had bad Karma come a’calling with inanimate objects…

Years ago, in a fit of immature rage, I tossed a non-compliant can opener across the room. A mere hour later the stupid clothesline mysteriously snapped, dumping the entire load of clean sheets onto the ground.

Who knew? Once again, Karmalized.

From what I’m told, as a child I was a horrible napper. Never wanted to be put down for that afternoon nighty-night. Cried and fought until sheer exhaustion from anger took over, and woke up each and every time cranky and miserable.

To this day I cannot take a nap without wrecking the remainder of my day.

Hey thanks, Mr. K.

Apparently that debt will never be satisfied and I’m certain my mother thanks you.

So for those of you who feel you’ve escaped justice and/or punishment for your evil ways, I urge you to rethink your position.

Anyone out there wondering what yesterday’s earthquake was all about?

According to today’s news, there was some damage in D.C., more specifically in the White House.

Hmmmmm…

Better lay low Congress, me thinks your Karmalization is a’comin…

“So be good for goodness sake!”