Do yourself a favor: Don’t lie… simply deny, deny, deny

Definition of Deny: to refuse to admit or acknowledge, refusal to believe, reject…

Denial plays a huge part in the lives of all human beings, male and female alike.

Personally, I’m a firm believer of the art of denial which no doubt has saved my skin many times, as well as the skins of many of my friends and family members.

Denial should not, and truly CANnot, be confused with lying. A lie is a blatant untruth and clearly not the same as the above definition.

Sometimes, people just say way too much. They admit guilt in so many situations that do not warrant such an admission, so therefore end up in big fat trouble that could’ve been easily avoided by simply recognizing and seizing the opportunity to shut the hell up.

Example: Garbage disposal is making an obnoxious noise. Immediately Hubby looks accusingly at Wife, who has two choices here:

1. Admit that some non-grindable item snuck down the hole, therefore admitting guilt. Or, my forever choice:

2. Denial. I have no idea what could’ve possibly happened here but you need to get your tools and fix it lickity split because I’m getting a huge headache that will no doubt culminate with your unhappiness in some form or another.

Example: Vehicle trouble.

There’s such a broad variety of potential blame to be found on this subject that it’s just ridiculous.

I mean really, a dead battery can, and does, happen anywhere, anytime.

Hubby’s automatic assumption that Wife failed to follow some silly rule regarding the vehicle’s life juice is an insult to women everywhere.

Choice #1: I may have left the key in that middle of the road position that shouldn’t even be allowed in the manufacturing of vehicles, therefore, once again, admitting guilt.

Choice #2: When I walked away from that stupid car everything was perfect. No idea what sucked the life out of it—how ‘bout you just giddy up to the jumper cables and let’s just put this whole incident behind us.

Example: The washing machine has miraculously waltzed across the entire bathroom and has repositioned itself so that it now has a window view.

The obvious accusation will be that Wife has overloaded the thing with the equivalent of a small village’s clothing.

Choice #1: Yes Dear, I tried to wash a king size comforter and twelve blankets. This is the wrong choice each and every time.

Choice #2: Drag Hubby into laundry area, insisting that he dons his reading glasses, then make him read aloud the words on the face of the washing machine that clearly state LARGE CAPACITY front loader.

Stops him in his tracks it does, discussion over. Tools, please.

So again, let’s not confuse denying with lying. They are completely, unquestionably, unrelated.

Too much information (TMI) never seems to pan out for the teller and is not an advantageous life skill.

DENY, DENY, DENY—and you will avoid many an argument that should be saved for the rare time that you are truly, undeniably, wrong.

Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.