hello march!!!
It’s finally over – the dreaded month of February. However, once again there has been some scarring and loss, and even though Mr. March has arrived there appears to be some definite residual effects.
Dear Frontier: Your service (or lack thereof) has been despicable for almost an entire month now. The lines you have buried here in Woodgate clearly do not appear on your radar screens. Our entire community has been fighting with you on a daily basis with few results. Many of us have been assured that the “problem” has been rectified – I’m here to tell ya you have FAILED.
Dear DISH: I just knew my gut feeling about paperless billing and uninterrupted signal reception would result in bold faced lies, yet I willingly signed on the dotted line. Thanks so much for informing me that even though I signed a contract enabling me to purchase your services for “12 MONTHS AT $24.99”, there has been a rate increase of five dollars per month, starting NOW. Your rep was quite clear – “YOU DID NOT READ ALL OF THE FINE PRINT – WE CAN RAISE THE PRICE WHENEVER WE WANT TO” – you too have FAILED. Miserably.
Dear Charlie Sheen: Wow. Just wow. Two and a half men has been one of my faves since it started. I now feel you have been grossly over compensated for playing yourself, cuz it’s just not so funny when it’s real life. Have a good time self destructing with your oh-so-charming gold digging nanny/prostitute/whatevers – I smell a big fat FAIL in your future, and when you wreck yourself cuz you didn’t check yourself I may grin a bit. Hey, we’ve still got reruns, so see ya.
Dear Libya: Kudos to you brave souls – but gee, it sure took ya long enough. Please, can we stay outta this civil war Mr. Obama? I’m just not sure why we feel the need to fight everyone else’s wars – their FAIL will no doubt become ours in the near future.
Dear State of New York: You’ve been a great place to live for almost eight years, but your really really high taxes and extremely fat cost of living is coaxing us to move on – and out. A hog is a hog but a pig ya slaughter – we don’t want to become winter whiners or unhappy old folks and the great south is calling. The vision of our golden years is growing increasingly dim – time for a new adventure, new home, and almost year round motorcycles. Bye bye snowmobiles, your expensive danger is no longer enticing. Not a true FAIL, just a change of heart and strong desire to live cheap.
Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the bloodline that enables me to enjoy Italian Alzheimer’s Disease, where one forgets everything but the grudges. Very special.
Dear Mother Nature: Let’s just move on here. There’s life after snow and I can feel the weight lifting like a good roof dump. There will be flowers and grass once again, I will feel the sweet glow of sunshine upon my face, we will sell this beautiful home eventually, and life will spiral into a daily dose of happy. Carolina’s here we come, tho I hardly picture myself as a sweet southern belle. A bit too late for that I fear, but I did feel it was necessary to address this issue before Bob Rieth has the opportunity.
Dear Mr. March: We will not accept a FAIL from you, although it is definitely snowing as I write this. Better days are coming, and they’ll no doubt start with a shovel in my hand. Gotta love it!!!
