In 2001 a venture was embarked upon to capture the hearts and minds of football fans. The XFL was televised into life by NBC; a sport that attempted to boil football down to it’s most extreme flavor; violence.

A decade later we find ourselves in a reduction sauce of political rancor that isn’t far removed from the failed experiment that was the XFL.

Again, there is a television network at the delta of this river of hate-filled gravy, this time it’s FoxNews.

The football spoofing XFL, was steeped heavily in the extremism of The World Wrestling Federation (Now renamed the WWE… which stands for something… maybe.).

Currently, the GOP finds itself steeping in The Tea Party; a creation of extremism as far removed from reality as professional wrestling.

The combination of television and extremism is a natural fit, with traditionally diminishing returns.

The XFL only lasted one year before it violently burned through its television ratings and was promptly abandoned in favor of people eating bugs on reality islands.

So the question is: How much longer will Republicans continue to live in the belly of the tea pot?

The nation is dissatisfied with Congress’s inability to function, and is now in immediate threat of economic damage caused by inflated debates.

Alarmists have taken center stage, while FoxNews cashes in commercial spots.

But the central target, Barack Hussein Obama, while showing wounded numbers, is on a statistical pace to beat [fill in any Republican Nominee’s name here].

Football fans were curious, but were not fooled by the ridiculous perversion that was the XFL.

Even some of the league’s players found more success by returning to the traditional game.

As a member of the XFL, Rod Smart changed his name to “He Hate Me” which landed him brief notoriety and not much else.

As “He Hate Me,” Smart played on a last place team in a soon-to-be-dead league.

When he resurfaced as Rod Smart, now a participant in the NFL, he set team records for the Carolina Panthers and appeared in Super Bowl XXXVIII (which I believe stands for “extra large 8”).

While name changes in politics are rare (John “Please call me Bainer” Boehner does come to mind), there has been a noticeable shift in what falls under the Republican name.

The party of business has become a homophobic and conspiratorial lot.

Fans of the original tenants of Republican values are increasingly finding themselves among screaming, face-painting throngs whose main goals are so far removed from functional government they are actually calling for its demise (otherwise known as anarchy).

The first Republican candidate for any office that can step confidently away from Tea-stained edicts will win the day.

What this country needs is a loyal opposition, and a return to aiding American Business (within which outsourcing corporations are not included). Prosperity makes everything better, just like winning.

So when will the Grand Old Party abandon this hate-filled experiment and return to the brand that once helped move a country along?

Remember, you can’t win the Super Bowl unless you play in it.

Until then you’re just starring in a clunker of an idea, destined to be ignored.

—

If you think Ken Thibado is a clunker, you can let him know at HalfStache@me.com