It’s a big world after all…
While in the midst of the gloomiest weather months for our area, it’s sometimes so easy to forget that there’s a big huge world out there.
All around the globe there are massive doin’s going on, and thanks to more couch time my news consumption increases mightily. I try so hard not to be a Hater, but jeez it’s nearly impossible when one absorbs too much worldliness in a short period of time.
The past few weeks I’ve been dreaming like a champ, virtually at a different movie theater each night. Care for a glimpse into the shows that have been occupying my slumber lately?
• Churches. Praying, chanting cardinals that all look amazingly alike. All at the Sistine Chapel—searching for divine guidance to elect the next Grand Papa, who will no doubt blame the past Papa for the poor state of affairs in the troubled church.
Everyone gathered about, eagerly anticipating the cloud of white or black smoke, then deciding it’d just be easier to wait for the text, tweet, or facebook status… seems someone just formed a handy new website for the Catholics… Dream Jan was trying to log on when I awoke.
• Sinkholes. I’ve been dreaming of those “should be on horror movies only” ghastly man-eating sinkholes—lovely. And gee, in one of my favorite (not) states—sunny but deadly Florida.
In addition to the sinkholes there are also reports of massive amounts of snakes—really big snakes—that have inundated the state of fun, frolic and early bird diners.
But wait, there’s more! Predictions point to some super-sized mutation of mosquitoes that are likely to swarm the area as well. Isn’t that what vacation is all about—adventure at its best! Dream Jan was all sweaty and itchy.
• Planes. A new law, a change of heart. Seems small knives, bats and clubs will now be allowed on all flights. Do NOT, however, try to smuggle that shampoo in your luggage fella… in this dream a whole gang of flight attendants was donned in suits of armor, clanking up and down the aisles swilling all those cute little bottles of booze while dodging tons of little knife jabs from passengers.
God, Dream Jan hates the news.
• Sugary beverages. Yessirree… right here in our own state. Anything over 16 ounces about to be banned, which presumably will single-handedly bring obesity to a screeching halt.
A direct quote from our governor, “more people are dying from overeating than under-eating”—Dream Jan was interviewing a bunch of starving kids in a slum somewhere—they disagreed.
• Daylight Stealing Time. Thanks Congress, and just when we were all starting to love you for assuring us that even though our country is some $16 trillion in debt, the DOW has been closing with record highs. Phew—close one!
Thought we might be in some financial sequestration trouble for a minute there, but now this! Literally stealing a precious hour of my beloved morning—in MARCH!
I knew it was just a matter of time before the vampires took over and decided to let darkness extend its ugly head where there should be light… Dream Jan was heading to Washington that morning—by bus.
Like everyone else I know my body and soul are craving sunshine, warmth, green grass and the clothesline. One simply has to tolerate the dark before all that precious light comes pouring our way, but until then I’m stuck inside, on the couch, with the news. I’m really not blaming anyone… I just know it’s not MY fault.
Sweet dreams, and remember, it’s a big world afterall.
