Double Nickels… time to heed the wife’s ‘stay healthy’ tips
Happy Birthday to Rocky! Today, March 6, 2013, my beloved husband turns 55 years old. Big number, big gains. He’s undoubtedly one lucky fella, because his loving wife has meticulously put together a detailed list chock full of heartfelt stay healthy tips for her man.
Little does he know that this grooming has been taking place for many years now, so most of the hard work is done. But of course, there’s always room for improvement.
Let’s take a look at these invaluable lessons…
1. Use your brain. We’re all familiar with the term “use it or lose it,” and this is certainly applicable to the aging male. He needs to be openminded and willing to keep learning, because there’s so darn much that we women can teach him.
Nothing says “I Love You” like a ready and willing old guy student.
2. Know your space limitations. Applicable especially in the sleep arena, where too much proximity can trigger an unpleasant hot flash in your partner, resulting in some type of pain and/or discomfort for you as well.
Kitchen crowding is also frowned upon—when your gal’s hands are in the dishpan it is probably not a good idea to try and cop a quick squeeze—there are knives hovering with those dishes and this too could prove to be a tad uncomfortable for you.
3. Slow it down buddy. So many boys are born with the need for speed when there are motors involved.
This does not pan out well for the aging male—he’s losing his coordination skills and muscle mass, in addition to the lightning speed reflexes he once possessed.
My guy now is the proud owner of a 1980 something snowmobile—top speed 45 mph. Old dogs rule.
4. Speaking of dogs… keep the canine. Men adore their doggie pals and the daily walks are truly beneficial. Sometimes they team up against the alpha-mom thus resulting in a mock feeling of superiority—totally necessary to nurture that male ego thing.
5. Speaking of coordination… I recently mentioned something I read, which I practice daily: put your socks on while in a standing position. Hysterical to watch, and just as funny listening to from rooms away. Bless his little heart—we laugh like maniacs every morning during this process.
6. Ease up on the beer consumption. This frees up funds for taking his delightful wife out for well deserved dinners, therefore eliminating potential hazard from part 2 of Step 2.
So there you have it…these simple little suggestions have proved themselves to be highly successful in this household. If all else fails, we can resort to age old truisms:
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night, and
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there, and finally,
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left!
