Indecision 2012: Dodging the presidential debates from my sofa
I’m trying, I really truly am. With all this new-found time on my hands I made a promise to myself to start paying closer attention to world events—more precisely, our presidential election.
I just want to be a “better” American. I don’t want to be a hater—it’s just not good for My Condition.
So what could possibly hold me back and thwart my sincere effort in this cause?
Well maybe, and I’m just tossing this out there, it may have something to do with the ridiculous display of kindergarten-type antics that were played out right here in my living room.
These oh-so-important leaders of the free world stopped just short of name calling.
And judging from the confrontational body language, I found myself disappointed not to hear: “Well you’re just a big fat poopy-face liar! How ’bout we just settle this out on the playground?!!”
Well I know what’s needed here. A real live mediator, with more experience in this field than anyone I’ve witnessed so far.
We need to loan them Barb Borwick, kindergarten teacher extraordinaire.
Now here’s a gal that could easily reign in these sparring boys and offer them a few thousand tips on basic manners, which include waiting your turn and letting the other guy finish before you run the heck all over him.
Barb would never have allowed any student of hers to behave the way these boys did—it would simply not be tolerated. And her students are five years old.
Needless to say, after ninety minutes of observation—all ninety of which were way past my bedtime—I went to sleep just shaking my head in disgust.
I am embarrassed. Ashamed. The rest of the world witnessed this disgrace, and of course they’re laughing their heads off, as they should be.
I am not one speck closer to a Decision 2012, and as a matter of fact I’m even more undecided than I was prior to those sacrificial 90 minutes.
The more I delve into “the facts” the muddier they get, on both sides.
So much for the “better” American mantra—I’ll bet I could call Barb today and we would both agree…
Shame on you both—this is all a bunch of baloney fish!!!!!
Now pick up your toys, get on that bus, and make sure your parents read my note home describing why you will get NO RECESS tomorrow!
