The best thing about the dictionary is everyone can add to it

Wow. What a fantastic summer it’s been! By far the best I’ve experienced here in upstate New York, although a bit on the warm side.

Lucky Dogs is, by far, the most entertaining endeavor I’ve ever tackled.

The folks I’ve had the pleasure of meeting this summer have made this new venture so enjoyable that sometimes I forget I’m working.

Thanks everyone for your patronage, and yes, we’re staying open as long as we can, weather permitting.

Being out “on the road” has been one enlightening experience for me.

I know I’ve addressed this issue in the past but boy oh boy it’s worth revisiting. It’s the traveling part, what folks do in their vehicles will never, ever, cease to amaze and amuse me.

For this reason I am compelled to share my very own little handbook of suggestions for our beloved tourists, because, well, some things just need to be addressed.

We all know I love words. Always have. Actually, my true passion is making up my own words—usually a simple combination of two words which can capture a meaning that could normally require an entire sentence to express.

Example: Touriquette. (n. tourist/etiquette.)

It seems to me that if everyone could maintain a teeny bit of respect for the property of those of us that reside here, well by golly what a wonderful world it could be.

This means you, Mr. & Mrs. Kayak Toters, who feel it’s their God-given right to pull into any available parking lot, completely blocking the entrance, in order to adjust/straighten/re-align their load of toys.Nary a purchase is made and believe me, they’re not in a hurry to get out of anyone’s way.

Granted there aren’t many available rest stops on Route 28, but this is where the etiquette part comes into play.

Maybe you good folks could try to NOT block entrances or exits, and one more suggestion – make it flippin quick.

How ‘bout this idea? Pull in, adjust, and go.

I mean really, a time limit of ten minutes or so should be observed and respected while you’re hogging up a bunch of parking spots reserved for patrons.

It just seems so unnecessary to re-pack each and every suitcase/cooler/blanket, etc. on my property, with me watching you.

Another example: Technojunk. (n. technology junkie).

This would be directed at the woman who spent (I know, cuz I watched the clock on this one) TWENTY MINUTES pacing around the Lucky Dogs lot, talking and texting with whom I can only presume was her soon to be ex, judging by the really LOUD conversation that she made no effort to keep personal.

It was a Judge Judy episode at its finest and believe me it took every bit of my self control not to step in as the good Judge herself, slam down my gavel and toss her off my property.

Needless to say, after this totally public display of domestic ineptness she peeled out, ignoring me completely as I flipped her a combination parade/get the hell out wave.

Hey thanks lady, your tact and class have labeled you a true champ in my book.

These are only a scant few examples of the contents of my handbook, and believe it or not there’s some nice ones that I reserve for only the finest of customers. One of my faves: Barnum.

Here’s a name reserved for the sweetest guy I have been honored to meet this summer, Mr. Barney Barnum of Big Moose.

King of men, champion of women, master of sharing and generosity. I just adore him.

Barney will be celebrating his 90th birthday this week and I’m taking this opportunity to shout out a big fat Happy Birthday to you Barney.

Behave yourself, Betty’s surely watching you, and I’ll be patiently waiting for a visit—gotta  snappy griller with your name on it Buddy.

All in all, it’s a 80/20 ratio of good tourists vs. inconsiderate, rude jerks, but in this day and age the flavor has been changed up a bit.

Before reaching for my bull horn (that’s right, I do have one), one must consider the growing possibility of facing a Vacahand (n. vacationer with handgun) because gee, wouldn’t that be the first thing you pack for a peaceful Adirondack vacation?

Words, folks, words. So much easier to use than weapons, and often just as effective, except, well, nobody dies or ends up in jail. USE YOUR WORDS!!!!