Don’t be trackin’ me! Some people just need a little privacy
Two thousand and twelve. By now, most of us have a fairly justifiable fear of government surveillance.
Thanks to modern technology the details of your life are openly accessible to pretty much anyone who wants them.
That is, of course, if you choose to be “connected,” which probably ninety-nine percent of us are in some way.
It just cracks me up how many folks sacrifice personal privacy for personal safety.
Take, for instance, the OnStar® device installed in so many vehicles.
For the low-low price of hundreds of dineros per year, some creepy stranger travels with you everywhere you go.
In the event that you tragically suffer a vehicular breakdown, or God forbid an accident, the Voice Knows.
A speaker located somewhere near your windshield immediately (and quite creepily) starts speaking to you, demanding a response, and then spews out your exact location, followed by the details explaining what has caused your vehicle to malfunction.
“Oh Mr. Jones, you are on the corner of First and Second street, and your gas gauge is reading empty. According to our records you reside way down on Tenth, and your wife will be very curious to know why you are so far from home when you should be sitting down to a pot roast dinner right now. We’re calling her right now, so may I suggest that you start composing your alibi immediately?”Surely we all recall that unfortunate incident in Pennsylvania when school officials issued take-home laptops to their students.
Turns out they were equipped with web cams that allowed them to spy on these students, while in their bedrooms, in the “privacy” of their own homes.
Needless to say that did not turn out well for anyone—costly lawsuits were filed and much needed school funds had to be spent to resolve the issue.
Or how ’bout your boss generously gives you a cool cell phone, neat clippy-thing to attach to your belt, which you assume is so he can phone you when a new task needs to be done.
What you don’t assume is that he/she is using this coolness to track your every movement, and at the end of the day you will be reprimanded for texting your girlfriend or spending way too much time on the potty.
Virtually anyone with access to your phone can easily upload the software containing all of this information, and you foolishly assume that all of your actions are “private.” You, sir, are an idiot for entertaining such an assumption.
So, your handy-dandy cell phone, we now know, should NOT BE USED for anything more than a friendly chat.
Your conversations are NOT private, and in the event that you have an enemy, or even someone who mildly dislikes you, your words can be interpreted as nothing short of potential terrorism.
Beware, fellow Americans. Your harmless laptop, sitting so innocently in your living room, can easily be equipped with all types of spyware devices.
May I suggest that you not relocate said laptop from your living room to your, er, “private” places because truly, there will be little or no sympathy from me.
Afterall, you opted for the “safety”/“need to be hooked up” features, consequences be damned!
Of course, this writer has yet to purchase any communication device that is functional outside of my home.
So when I get a flat tire I’ll be flagging down one of you-all to make an assistance call for me; or like my friend Jay Lawson, I’ll just walk to my house.
