By Jan from Woodgate
Well folks, I stumbled upon this the other day. It was written sometime in the 90’s when daughter Jamie still needed a babysitter, so I thought I would share it with the younger parents out there just for kicks. I was totally in a rhyming phase…
A Brand New Father’s Day
T’was the night before Dad’s day and all up the block
The moms held their breath as they stared at the clock
Dad was all cozy and snug in his bed
not so much as a clue as to what lied ahead
For the moms had been chatting for months now you see
They plotted and planned and all seemed to agree
That as for golfing, and sleeping, and swilling of beer
Why things would be drastically different this year!
While visions of Mom’s day still danced in their heads
They slipped into their sneakers, the good ones with treads!
Then they set every single alarm in the house
oh boy were they quiet, ya know, like that mouse
Great notes were all hung from the doorways with care
small cameras were tucked at the top of the stair
Yes, a true Kodak moment this promised to be
moms viciously snickered, this filled them with glee!
Then ever so quiet they snuck out the door
they met at the bus stop—high five—what a score!
Well imagine dad’s face when the clocks made that noise
he jumped up, he stumbled, he tripped over toys
The children woke too when they heard all that clatter
the flashbulbs, the cameras, Where’s mom…WHAT’S THE MATTER???
As dad got his bearings he lifted his head
his eyes barely focused and his heart filled with dread
The notes read “I love you dear, have a nice day!
Spend time with your kids, I’ll be out of your way
I’ve borrowed your golf clubs, and the cooler’s with me
thanks for chilling the beers, they’re as cold as can be!
And I know you won’t mind that I’ve borrowed your car
don’t bother to call cuz I’ll be in the bar
And when I come home dear I’ll go right to bed
because after all, this is “Your Day” you said
Dad’s eyes seemed to water, his whole face to pucker,
now he saw the last note:
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, SUCKER!!!
Editor’s Note: Cards and well-wishes can be sent to: Jan Knudsen, P.O. Box 147, Woodgate, NY 13494.