Once again I have been duped by my husband. How, one must wonder, does this continue to happen? Am I exceptionally stupid or is he incredibly crafty?
Hmmph. I’m going with Door Number 2.
So, off he goes last Saturday, presumably for a “free” load of wood. And home he comes several hours later with no wood. Nary a speck of kindling in the back of that “new” truck of his.
And how could there be? It certainly could not be squeezed in with the load he WAS hauling…wait for it…ANOTHER FLIPPIN’ TRACTOR!
Of the lawn variety, this one is. “Nice little riding mower for you, honey!” he says.
Now really, is it possible that he truly expected my happy face to show itself? It’s an itsy bitsy thing, a Tonka variety, so I just knew it was mine all mine.
I’ve got this now…he just doesn’t care. His tractor addiction is so all-consuming that he is willing and prepared to face the wrath of his wife as long as the craving is satisfied. Just like all the other junkies—consequences be damned.
Mind you I was quite content with my little push mower for several reasons.
One, I am not an accomplished mower.
Quite frankly I set to mowing with no particular plan in mind and sometimes start where I should probably finish.
At least with the pusher I’m forced to somewhat stay focused on the lines. I’m certain the likes of Tyler McGough, master mower guy, would be appalled by the swirls and curves I tend to produce.
Now give me a rider and, dear Lord, all bets are off. High spot to the left? SWERVE!!!
Again, no plan in advance and eventually I just end up boxing myself into an impossible corner somewhere.
Thank goodness for reverse as I’m pretty sure I spend more time backing up than moving forward.
Well I used that little thing last week, and PR had the gall to be surprised that I could figure out how to operate it without his detailed instructions.
Really, Rock? In thirty years you’ve surprised me with at least that amount of tractors. So put away your game face—I know how to play this one all by myself.
Admittedly I enjoyed quite the chuckle when upon completion I surveyed my work. Holy cow.
The place resembled a NASCAR race run by a team of drunken drivers. No rhyme or reason, and the lack of order just cracked me up.
The number two issue here is that he will no longer be responsible for the big mowing jobs. The Deere will probably be stripped of its mower entirely.
Afterall, it’s already got snowblowing on its plate and new fork-y arm-like attachments, so let’s not tax the thing with too many jobs.
The most amazing thing of all? For the 30th time he has, with conviction and animation, made the announcement that, “This one will last us forEVER!!”
Yup, one clever guy, this husband of mine. Keep your eyes open on your way by folks.
No doubt the Tonka will be sporting a for sale sign in the near future and will inevitably need to be replaced.
Junkies are, if nothing else, totally and loyally committed to their habits. Heartwarming indeed.