Houston, we have a problem. A stinky, hairy invasive problem that has the potential to cause considerable harm to humans here in the north country.
It’s the Yogis folks, the Yogi Bears, and they’re virtually EVERYwhere.
Our beautiful area has been converted into a free range dump for these scavengers, and apparently we have absolutely zero recourse.
Can’t shoot ‘em, can’t hurt ‘em, can’t do anything to protect our own properties or more specifically, our garbage.
A local business owner was advised by the DEC that, “You, sir, live in bear country. And in the event you cannot find a way to contain your trash then YOU WILL BE TICKETED.”
Well, so much for the squeaky wheel. Go ahead and complain and soon you’ll be viewing the world from the belly of the bus you threw yourself under.
Okay, so I do totally respect our forest friends. Why just last week I actually shed real tears when Tom the Toad came squirting out of my lawnmower blades.
I’ve done my best to live and let live here in the woods and never, EVER disturb the nests of creatures.
So y’all just calm yourselves, animal activist groups. I’m not about to suggest wiping out the bear population.
I would like, however, to call some attention to the possibility that someone’s gonna get hurt, and if it’s a child there’s gonna be some ‘splainin to do fellas.
I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only person that absolutely despises revisiting yesterday’s garbage first thing in the morning…not exactly a banner way to start one’s day.
The Yogis have gotten more and more aggressive and have the cunning and strength of Superman and Batman combined.
They bust through chains and barriers with nary a speck of effort—in addition to possessing the memory of a super genius.
Yup, a wee bit of hot dog there last night. LET’S GO BACK!!!
Need I mention that this is 2014? For Pete’s sake we have the power to repel all kinds of stuff whether it flies, crawls, digs or burrows, we can get rid of the offenders.
So where the heck is the BearBeGone juice? Why hasn’t anyone invented a nice little cocktail that will keep the Yogis out of our trash bins?
Oh believe me, I’ve tried the bleach and Pine Sol combo (Oops. Probably get cuffed and stuffed for that one), but they seem to like it.
In the event that someone sees a spotted white bear I’ll no doubt be questioned and possibly detained and/or fined.
So here’s the bottom line. We, the smartest species on the planet, cannot keep our backyards safe and clean and I find this more than a tad disturbing.
I challenge you wildlife officials to do SOMETHING to address this problem, because it really is a problem and shouldn’t be ignored.
And as for all you nuts that insist on the “relocate the bears to the north country” mantra, well, I invite you to spend an evening in my chained up dumpster and have yourself a delightful romp in the garbage with your good pals that have more rights and protection than the White House occupants.
There. I said it and I’m proud.