Footwear is an extremely important component of one’s attire, I get that. If your feet hurt, the chance of an entire day being wrecked is imminent.
However, an obsession with footwear is an entirely different matter.
Take, for instance, my husband’s collection of boots.
Here’s a guy who will look directly into your eyes and claim he needs yet another pair because his are “worn right out.”
Well that’s just silly talk because I’m the one who is constantly picking up/relocating/tripping over a bazillion pairs of the stupid things.
Truly, he ought to be enrolled in some sort of a program. C’mon, there are support groups for everything from alcoholism to nose pickers, there’s just got to be a collection of folks obsessed with the boot thing.
And as with any affliction of the addictive variety the first step is admitting that yes, I Have A Problem.
Unfortunately we have not yet attained that goal but I remain forever hopeful and have been secretly plotting and planning strategies to make this man recognize his problem.
There’s no doubt in my mind that a guy who changes his boots depending on the activity ahead should be able to address the situation in a sane manner.
For example, he has his morning ‘walk the dog’ boots. These are left for dead (all muddy and gross) on the front porch where the first switch of the day takes place cuz here come the work boots.
These are only worn off the home premises and are promptly removed on the back porch when the workday ends.
Not to worry…the evening attire is awaitin’. The next pair is worn for wood stacking and lawn mowing.
This might be a fine time to mention that in my life I’ve never seen such small boots with such long laces.
The vacuum has sucked the laces in from three rooms away on more than one occasion.
See where I’m going with this? I’m not even touching on the winter boot collection because it’s so extensive we simply don’t have the time to list them all.
This is all true stuff. I do not suggest approaching PR with any of this because his level of denial is so strong that it only invokes anger on his part (clearly another sign of addiction affliction.)
On the bright side I’m quite certain we could, if necessary, put the entire collection up for sale and be able to heat our home for an entire winter season.
Guess we’d have to hang onto the shoveling boots as well as the wood haulers, but then there’s the winter hikers followed by the snowblowers, and lions and tigers and bears oh my.