Once upon a time a tree lived in the woods. This particular tree had a sacrificial future. It was cut down into a nice little log, transported by PR to a very talented Greg Hunkins, who then cleverly carved the log into a remarkable hot dog where it now welcomes one and all to Lucky Dogs and the foothills of the Adirondack Mountains.
Originally the dog log rested in a horizontal position. Many visitors were attracted and eventually spotted snapping pics of the happy fella.
I dare say he’s logged (hehehaha) quite a few hours of cyberspace time. Heart warming and fun, right?
Well, folks being folks, the unfortunate habit of posing on the dog became somewhat, shall we say, inappropriate.
It was funny at first, but kind of gross as time went on.
PR, being the clever guy that he is, went back to the woods to locate a delightful set of log legs, then arms, and voila…Dog Man was born.
He now stands upright and waves to everyone passing by, his belly adorned with mustard, ketchup and relish, cuz who doesn’t love that all-American scene?
Life for Dog Man was rolling along nicely…until last weekend. It seems there are no bounds to human nature’s aversion with perversion, and once again the big guy was violated at the road.
Yup, that’s right. Some sicko decided to attach an inappropriate appendage made of pantyhose, socks and newspaper to the innocent log.
No doubt they thought this funny beyond belief, which is kind of scary in itself.
The mentality of a fifth grader resides inside this grown up creep.
Again, at first it was a little funny, but when one thinks of the small children driving by and catching a glimpse of that disgusting joke it takes the funny away and leaves behind a bad taste of icky.
“Old pantyhose was often used to polish one’s boots, quite effectively,” quipped one of my fave police officers, Mr. Kevin Birtle, who, like myself, did not find the humor in this prank.
Needless to say, a gender reassignment is coming soon. Dog Man will be transformed into a female version of his former self which may or may not eliminate the violation factor.
But we may be able to identify future perps cuz SMILE—you’ll be on Candid Camera! And YouTube, and possibly our local news channel!
So easy to be a star! I’m sure you’ll sparkle and shine for your family and friends.
But in the meantime Sir Creep-o-lot, how ‘bout you go back to polishing your boots in the privacy of your own home!