Today is Wednesday, February 26th. Thirteen years ago on this day we lost my mom and truly, sometimes it feels like yesterday—other times it seems like I haven’t seen her face in a million years.
Mommy. All kinds of memories flood my dreams of that wonderful lady, and admittedly they’re not all pleasant.
Not because of her, but because of the things my siblings and I subjected her to.
My biggest crime against mommy? Making her cry.
That was huge in our house and was one of the few occasions when dad would step in and make life less than pleasant for the perp who caused his wife to shed tears.
All these years later I can vividly recall the dark, creepy confessional booth where little Catholic children were forced to enter and bare their souls to an unseen priest.
I was eight years old when I tearfully confessed to the mystery man that I made my mommy cry.
Twenty Hail Marys and fifteen Our Fathers later, whispered guiltily on my knees in that hard-as-nails church pew, I had myself convinced that I was absolved—free of guilt.
I’m sure she cried probably another zillion times over her daughters, because of us. If I could take it back and be forced to confess ‘til eternity I surely would.
So you’d think I learned my lesson, right? Nope.
Here comes another confession…this one made publicly.
During that last Polar Vortex I committed yet another crime—a biggie. I accused, in hushed tones, Mama Nay of sleeping with the oil companies.
Oh yes I did. Said it to one of my sisters in hushed tones, but clearly the big mama still heard it. And now I have the weight of her wrath on my shoulders.
Because, guess what’s on its way? Another huge cold blast is coming to a theater near me.
I’m pretty sure the biggest of mamas is above the crying thing though. She’s stronger, wiser and more capable of vengeance than we earth moms.
Quite simply, Mama Nay gets even when someone tries to make her cry. How can one not respect THAT?
I’m guessing Mama Nay cares not about sympathy…in her world it just calls in sick or something.
She is however, amazingly quick to punish her children for the willful ignorance of consequences even though most of us do not think we deserve punishment for our crimes against nature.
I’m not sure she wishes harm on her stupid children or if she actually rejoices in harm that comes upon them.
But maybe she has searched for a way to feel bad for us and just can’t find it.
Maybe it’s hiding in a closet under some dirty laundry somewhere. Not sure.
Of course, this incredible cold is not ALL my fault. Could be she’s poking fun at the Global Warming folks.
Or maybe she glimpsed the news this week, gasping in collective horror when the public was advised of what she already saw happen to those innocent cows in Herkimer.
I think, at this point, it would behoove us all to exhibit our best behavior, respect all parents and try really, really hard not to poke the mommy tiger because there ain’t no cage that can hold her.
And frankly, at this point we just can’t afford the heating costs… oops, I mean consequences.