Tag Archives: Ken Thibado

Mild winter survivor’s guilt: Worming our way to a change of seasons

by Ken Thibado, Prognosticator

The winter has been mild and the landscape wears few of its seasonal scars.

Soon the robins will return, and when they take a look around…we’re gonna have problems.

If global warming is real, and not just a made up hoax intended to boost the sale of compostable toilets; we’re staring down the barrel of a robin apocalypse.

(The Mayans aren’t coming just for History Channel’s viewers; they have it in for the robins too!) Continue reading

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Reward, please: It’s tough sticking out entire election season by Ken Thibado, Guest Polling Critic

I want it to be Law that you get an “I Voted!” sticker when you vote. Law; capital “L” Law.

I have been stickerless for a decade, and not because I don’t vote. I do vote. And each year I go into my polling place hoping, against all probability, that I will leave donning a sticker.

I was raised on gold stars, dammit! Don’t take my “I Voted!” sticker away and assume I will just go quietly along, submitting to pointless joylessness.

I will not! I want my sticker!

I watched my parents receive their “I Voted!” stickers each year at the Eagle Bay Firehall. I was even given stickers before I could vote. The “I Voted!” sticker is the fuzzy, happy, glowing memory that keeps me coming back each year… even after a decade of being denied this symbol of American Freedom. Continue reading

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United We Prepare! by Ken Thibado, Survivalist

Post-civilization looks to be around corner

Well, The Great Collapse is here. It’s the Second Depression-or are we on The Third?

The point is: This Is The Big One folks! The long recession followed by a hollow-sounding kurplunk, and the sinking feeling that we’re too tired to swim.

Face-painted extremes from the Right and Left are marching and chanting, while carrying signs bemoaning taxes, corporations, and government.

Factions from America’s Protestor Army have been dispatched to all the state capitals, Wall Street, and various other places of political and monetary power. Continue reading

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Letter to the Editor: I keep hearing about all this hate, but so far have yet to witness any

A Letter of Response to Ken Thibado:

“Extreme” “Hate Filled” “Homophobic”… Wow.

I again read with wonder and awe an article written by Ken Thibado where he attempts to somehow compare the XFL with the “hate filled” FOX News Network and the extremist Tea Party.

I wonder how he has come to the point in his life where he hates a news organization for telling the truth, and I am in awe that he may actually believe what he is saying.

Let’s talk for a moment about the “extremism” of the Tea Party.

While I don’t consider myself a Tea Party member, I have attended several of their rallies in an attempt to understand their view and I must say I concur with most of their beliefs.

Considering the path which our Federal and State governments have been taking the past several years with spending, taxation and regulation, someone had to speak up.

Where does the “extremism” come in?

Is it “extreme” to want a smaller, more efficient and responsive government? Continue reading

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Has the GOP become the XFL? Welcome to reality politics

In 2001 a venture was embarked upon to capture the hearts and minds of football fans. The XFL was televised into life by NBC; a sport that attempted to boil football down to it’s most extreme flavor; violence.

A decade later we find ourselves in a reduction sauce of political rancor that isn’t far removed from the failed experiment that was the XFL.

Again, there is a television network at the delta of this river of hate-filled gravy, this time it’s FoxNews. Continue reading

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Ken Thibado: Local jewelry maker’s design included in ‘best of’ collection

WingNut Industries is proud to announce the inclusion of Ken Thibado within 21st Century Jewelry: The Best of the 500 Series, by Lark Books.

The jewelry creations of Ken Thibado had previously been included in 500 Earrings, and twice in 500 Brooches, both published by Lark.

When reached for comment, the artist responded by saying, “Awesome!”

This is the ninth book to feature Ken Thibado creations.

Currently, the artist has a line of jewelry featured at Deb Burrington’s 3040 Gallery on Main Street, in Old Forge.

His work can also be viewed at kenthibado.com.

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Boehner & Obama—Lennon & McCartney? A little two-speech ditty by Ken Thibado

Political Music Critic Barack Obama (whom the Republican party would like to remind you has the middle name Hussein) and John Boehner (who would appreciate it if you mispronounced his name as “Bainer”) gave dueling speeches about the current fabricated mess that politics has created for our country.

These dueling speeches aren’t significant, despite what you may have heard. They’re just clarifications on the cloudy solutions we’re being told will clear up our foggy financial woes.

Summation: we’re doomed. The good news is, this is nothing new.

Barack Obama named his speech, Happiness is a Warm Gun.

“We need a fix because we’re going down. Down to the bits that we left uptown.”

Leading up to this moment was a deep, mood setting guitar riff that told us all to perk our ears and listen for the message. Two tax cuts (both for votes) and two expensive wars (one for reasons, another for lies) have added up to a mountain of debt.

Always aware that the country runs on the backs of people and not corporations (Are you aware the Supreme Court has granted corporations the same rights as American Citizens… you know, because of all the discrimination and suffering that corporations have had to endure?), the President led us into the scary news with respect.

“You aren’t a country that misses much. You’re all well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand, like a lizard on a window pane. The Man in the crowd with his multi-colored mirrors on his hobnail boots; Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime. The Republican Party has jumped the gun. The Republican Party has jumped the gun.”

When President Obama ended his speech by saying to us, “Happiness is a warm gun. When I hold you in my arms and I feel my finger on your trigger; I know nobody can do me no harm”, I felt a little used.

I’m not sure I like being cozied up to, while a chorus of Democrats sing “Bang Bang, Shoot Shoot” in the background.

Still, the message seems to be that a fight is on the horizon.

Again; nothing new. It will be real news if the Democrats actually participate in a fight…

For his part, Bainer Boehner, had a faster paced speech filled with the type of sped up gloom that leaves you wanting more.

He named his little ditty Run For Your Life.

“Well I’d rather see you dead, little country, than to be with another man. You better keep your head, little country, or I won’t know where I am. You better run for your life, if you can, little country. Hide your head in the sand, little country. Catch you with another man; that’s the end, little country.”

Bainer Boehner is a wicked guy and he was born with a jealous mind. He can’t spend his whole life trying just to make us tow the line. …at least that’s what I’m taking from his remarks and actions lately.

Boehner finished (after a jaunty interval of familiar strumming) with, “Let this be a sermon. I mean everything I’ve said. Baby, I’m determined, and I’d rather see you dead.”

Which actually does have the effect of making me want to run for my life and hide my head in the sand!

I get the eery feeling that if we play both of these speeches backwards, we’ll be able to faintly hear “America is dead!” among the other littering noises created by over-analysis.


Ken Thibado ripped off The Beatles, report him to the authorities at HalfStache@me.com


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