By Jan from Woodgate

Well folks, I stumbled upon this the other day. It was written sometime in the 90’s when daughter Jamie still needed a babysitter, so I thought I would share it with the younger parents out there just for kicks. I was totally in a rhyming phase…

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A Brand New Father’s Day

T’was the night before Dad’s day and all up the block

The moms held their breath as they stared at the clock

Dad was all cozy and snug in his bed

not so much as a clue as to what lied ahead

For the moms had been chatting for months now you see

They plotted and planned and all seemed to agree

That as for golfing, and sleeping, and swilling of beer

Why things would be drastically different this year!

While visions of Mom’s day still danced in their heads

They slipped into their sneakers, the good ones with treads!

Then they set every single alarm in the house

oh boy were they quiet, ya know, like that mouse

Great notes were all hung from the doorways with care

small cameras were tucked at the top of the stair

Yes, a true Kodak moment this promised to be

moms viciously snickered, this filled them with glee!

Then ever so quiet they snuck out the door

they met at the bus stop—high five—what a score!

Well imagine dad’s face when the clocks made that noise

he jumped up, he stumbled, he tripped over toys

The children woke too when they heard all that clatter

the flashbulbs, the cameras, Where’s mom…WHAT’S THE MATTER???

As dad got his bearings he lifted his head

his eyes barely focused and his heart filled with dread

The notes read “I love you dear, have a nice day!

Spend time with your kids, I’ll be out of your way

I’ve borrowed your golf clubs, and the cooler’s with me

thanks for chilling the beers, they’re as cold as can be!

And I know you won’t mind that I’ve borrowed your car

don’t bother to call cuz I’ll be in the bar

And when I come home dear I’ll go right to bed

because after all, this is “Your Day” you said

Dad’s eyes seemed to water, his whole face to pucker,

now he saw the last note:

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, SUCKER!!!

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Editor’s Note: Cards and well-wishes can be sent to: Jan Knudsen, P.O. Box 147, Woodgate, NY 13494.