To all of my senior veteran brothers:
Someone sent me this and I just had to share it with all you “OLD GUYS.”
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists as you can’t be older than 42 to join the military.
They’ve got the whole thing bassackwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to send us OLD GUYS. You shouldn’t be able to join the military until you are at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. OLD GUYS think about sex only a couple of times a month, leaving us about 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. Our backs hurt we can’t sleep, and we are tired. We are ill tempered and impatient so letting us take care of the enemy in our own way will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10 a.m. OLD GUYS always get up to pee, so what the hell!
Besides, like I said, I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up let me deal with some fanatical S.O.B.
Next, if captured, we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for OLD GUYS. We are used to being screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food.
We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however…I’ve been in combat and never saw one single 20-foot wall with a rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do pushups after breakfast.
Also, the running part is kind of a waste of energy too…I’ve never seen anybody outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world in front of him. He’s still learning to shave, start a conversation with a pretty girl, and still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all good reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way. Let us OLD GUYS track down those terrorists.
The last thing the enemy wants to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
And finally, how about recruiting women over 50—in MENOPAUSE. You think MEN have attitudes? They’ll have the enemy secured in one night!!
Vinnie Dolan,
Thendara
